Monday, September 16, 2013

Your Namesis

You're terrible at remembering names. You're at this party. You meet these two guys you've met  a few times before. Needless to say you can't for the life of you place their names. You converse with them in separate groups. Enjoyable conversations. Fun topics , lots of laughter. 

Then it's time to leave. The thought of not addressing them by name while saying bye is torturing you. The inability to find a tactful way of finding out is killing you. You sit there.Mind racing, nerves in a frightful twist. 

And then.

One guy has joined the other on the sofa right next to you. And the first guy says to the second : 
" Hey we haven't met..." 

Which side of the bed did you get up from that morning ? Flag it , frame it , gamble from it. Worship it. 

BUT  then.

This second guy. Your worst enemy. The bane of your existence. All he has to do is say his name. But this is what he does say : " Uh we did meet here last year ,I've seen you before "  

They have a very brief chat about something or the other , neither of which includes names. Then one of them gets up to get a drink.

It's over. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Losing It

Losing weight is easy ! All you have to do is two things.

A. Exercise. Exercise, exercise and more exercise ! The following is a good plan to follow :
  • Morning : Cycle 5 km , run 5 km, skip rope x 100 times / Shoulder and bench press-5 sets x 12 reps , arm and leg curls and back rowing - 5 sets x 100 reps, free lifts of maximum possible weight / Wind down by repeating the cardio step  also adding 30 minutes on the stepper
  • Afternoon : Repeat morning program
  • Evening :   Repeat morning program
  • Night :  You'll probably still be at the Evening program ; if not, repeat morning program
  • Through the day : take the stairs instead of the lift, do plenty of chores , walk around   

B. Eat nothing. Here's a recommended diet plan :
  • Breakfast :1 bowl nothing+1 fresh seasonal nothing+1 cup skimmed nothing
  • Snack2 pcs wholemeal nothing
  • Lunch : 1 bowl nothing + 250 gm grilled nothing + 1 cup fresh nothing
  • Snack : You've got to be joking
  • Dinner : Stare at but don't touch - 1/4 cup rice & greens salad + 250 gm salmon fillet
  • Through the day : When hungry (which will be always) , pray. 

Follow this simple program and very soon you'll not only lose a lot of weight but will also die.

To really go for the burn and get to that perfect size zero quickly, opt for cremation.